


Alienz R Real Club

by Cloudbustings



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aliens, Angst with a Happy Ending, Conspiracy Theories, F/M, Fluff, Jock Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements, smau
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24995998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudbustings/pseuds/Cloudbustings
Summary: When two nerd friends Mike and Ben decide to start a club devoted to the topic and study of aliens, they are denied the chance to do so—unless they get 6 more members to join. But who would join a club about stupid aliens, anyways?
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 7
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I really suggest you read this AU on the actual Twitter account because I can only transcribe so much onto the Ao3 format, and in transcribing it you lose a lot of the fun of the original format, which allows me to include little nuances that won’t appear here, like the difference between Ben & Mike’s handwriting. So if you want the full picture, check it out here! —> https://twitter.com/AlienzRRealClub
> 
> But if you really don’t have a twitter, you can read the transcribed story here.

Alienz R Real Club

Mission Statement: To discuss the possibility that extraterrestrial life-forms exist either on Earth or in space

Who are the founders? : Mike Hanlon & Ben Hanscom  
  
When? : Tuesdays and Thursdays during lunch

Where? : Room 325, Mr. Nell’s room

We need at least 6 members in order to be approved!!

—— Mike’s phone —— Mike & Ben

Mike:

Ok ok ok

*record scratch* 

Stop the mf music

What’s the agenda for this week

?

Ben:

For the club?

Mike:

No, for world domination

Wdyt

Ben:

😑

Well

we can’t really do anything until we meet our 6 member mark

Mike:

So anything we do has to surround picking up members?

Ben:

Yeah pretty much

Mike: 

Very well then Benjamin

Ben:

Pls don’t call me that

Mike:

Richie calls u that tho?

Ben:

Is it ever a good idea to copy what Richie does?

Mike:

Wow Ben pulling out the fangs!

U right tho

Ben:

Sorry

He’s not here to defend himself, I feel bad

Mike:

*An image of Tyler the Creator staring blankly at the camera with the caption ‘OK’*

Speaking of Richard

He’s a nerd 👀 think we should ask him to join?

Ben: 

He’s a nerd but like, not our kind of nerd

Mike:

Right, he’s a theatre kid

Ben:

Yeah I mean he’s all ‘fantastic 4’ and ‘brain boners over calculating percent yield’ but then he’s like ‘Romeo and Juliet was not a love story’ and ‘I just think I deserved the part more’

Mike:

How did you get him so right

Still gonna ask tho

He owes me

Ben: 

For what?

Mike:

*Stuff & thangs meme*

Ben:

💀 That is an old meme

—— Mike & Richie ——

Mike:

Sire Richard Wentworth of the Tozier household

Richard

RICHIE

Richie:

WHAT.

Mike:

Geeze

Richie:

Keep my old man name out ya mouth

Or off your keyboard

What do you want

Mike:

Richeeeeeee

Join my clubbbb

Richie:

What’s it about

If ur in it I’m sure it’s “”very interesting””

Mike:

>:( implying I’m not the most interesting person you know

Richie:

I could name several pieces of lint in my bellybutton more interesting

Mike:

Don’t want to know about your dirty ass unwashed belly button

Richie:

MIKE

the point???? I can’t find her??? Where is she??

Mike:

Oh right

Do you wanna join my club about aliens :) 👾 👽 

Richie:

Dot dot dot

*No, monopoly meme*

Aliens r fake what could you do in a club abt them

Mike:

Wow so ur not a believer?

Richie:

I wasn’t one when JB started, and I’m still not one to this day

Mike:

:(((( why do you hate me

Richie:

I don’t hate you

Mike:

So you’ll join? :)

Richie:

WH

no!!

Mike:

So our entire friendship was fake?

Richie:

Listen here Michael

Mike:

Join or I’ll tell your mom u lied abt having rehearsal on Saturday so you could smoke weed w/ Sandy

Richie:

She probably already knows dude I came home fucking zooted

I was like that video of the guy who came home wasted and told the clock on the wall he wasn’t drunk

Mike:

I’ll tell your dad you haven’t been wearing your retainer

Richie: 

What time does your stupid club start and where is it at

Mike:

:)

Plus u owe me

Richie:

Yeah yeah Micycle


	2. Chapter 2

—— Mike & Ben ——

  
Mike:

Good news!!

Richie is in!!

Ben:

Horrah!

Mike:

And I only had to threaten him to do it ❤️

Ben:

Not horrah…

Mike:

Yes horrah!

One down, five to go.

Have you asked anyone else about the club?

Ben:

Yeah, a guy who does track with me.

Mike:

Oh that’s cool! What’s his name?

Ben:

Eddie Kaspbrak. He says he’ll think about it. Apparently he receives calc tutoring during lunch so...idk if he’ll come ☹️

Mike:

Oh that sucks

Wait, Richie’s like, a math wiz

Right?

Ben:

Right…?

Why?

Mike:

No reason

—— Mike & Richie ——

Mike:

Hey Richie 🤗

Richie:

Hey Moiki

Mike:

😙🔪💕 pls don’t call me that 💕🔪☺️

I need a favour…

Richie: 

☹️

Mike:

Don’t mope

Besides, it’ll mean I owe you

Richie:

Sweet!

What’d’you need?

Mike:

So we’re tryna get this guy to join the club, but he gets calculus tutoring during lunch

Which is when we meet

And you’re super good at math

Richie:

Uhhh

Mike:

Could you tutor him on the days when he attends the club??

Richie:

Mmmmmm

Fine.

Mike:

YESYESYESYESY

Richie:

I’m such a good friend 👑 

Mike:

You are! You are...

—— Mike & Ben ——

Mike:

In the name of the lord Jesus hallelujah!

Ben:

🎶 OOOOooooOOHHH 🎶 

Mike:

You can go on and tell Eddie to come this Tuesday cause I just found him a tutor for Tuesdays and Thursdays!

Ben:

Really? It’s Richie, isn’t it

Mike:

Ding ding ding!

Ben:

Great work dude🥰

Mike:

You did great too!! You found the guy!!

I’m so excited...we just need 4 more people and this thing is legit! Keep thinking of people to ask

Ben:

Aye aye, captain!

Mike:

I can’t hearrrr youuuuuuuuu

Ben:

AYE AYE, CAPTAIN

Mike:

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


	3. Chapter 3

Monday

9:31 AM

The school bell rang and students made their way to their free period classes. In the hallway, Mike stood in front of the informational poster for the Alienz R Real club—the _vandalised_ poster. In the upper left hand corner were the words “PARANOID FREAKS” and scrawled boldly in messy capitals on the right hand side it said “ALIENS AREN’T REAL” with “LOSERS” below it. He sighed loudly out of frustration.   
  
The sound of footsteps squeaking closer on the hard tile flooring snapped Mike out of his frustrated headspace and called him to turn his head to his right. When he did, he locked eyes with a short white guy leaning awkwardly on his side against the lockers with his hands around the black straps of his backpack. He looked like he had something to say, so Mike gave him a moment to gather up the words.

The short guy’s gaze flickered from Mike’s face to the vandalised paper and back again. He opened his mouth to speak, but his words came out delayed.

“S-Sick wh-what people d-d-do, h-uh?” he stammered out, shifting uneasily. Mike nodded wordlessly. “Uhh…” the guy scratched the back of his neck, “My n-name is B-Bill.” He offered up his hand and Mike took it, shaking it gently. Mike also gave him a little smile, unconsciously trying to put the other guy at ease, but he missed it because he was looking at their interlocked hands.

“W-Wow you h-have r-r-r-really suh-soft hands.” he blurted out and then immediately flushed a deep red. “I-I m-m-mean—you don’t—you h-have r-really f-firm hands—wuh-well n-not r-r—I j-just—Shit-F-Fuck-“ he ripped his sweaty hand away and smacked it against his forehead, an action that made Mike wince. 

“Hey, hey, hey, dude  _ slow down.” _ soothed Mike as he brought his large hands up to rest comfortingly on Bill’s narrow shoulders. Bill blinked quickly up at him when they locked eyes again and it was like the other boy was looking at Mike for the first time. It actually might’ve been, seeing as Mike has never seen him before today. With Bill’s full attention focused on him, Mike flashed him another warm grin and let his hands fall from his shoulders. 

“There we go.” he said.

“I w-wanna j-join your cl-club.” Bill stated. Mike’s eyebrows raised.

“Forreal?” he asked hopefully.

Bill nodded, and Mike’s heart bounced up inside his ribcage and ricocheted off of his collarbone. He grinned excitedly and grabbed Bill’s shoulders again, this time much more firmly. The motion jerked him a little but Bill was smiling genuinely, his blue eyes sparkling.

“Seriously?! Holy shit dude, yes!!” Mike pumped his fists in the air, “Yes!! Yes, fuck, yes!!” he whooped. Students on their way to their free period classes looked at them strangely, but the two of them didn’t seem to notice any strange looks. Bill laughed and readjusted his backpack, still watching Mike dance happily.

Mike cut his victory dance short abruptly to swirl around and point a single finger at Bill.  _ “You _ ,” he beamed, “are my new favourite person.” Bill’s pale cheeks flushed and he kicked lazily at the ground with the tip of his shoe.

“Hehe, I did nothing, man, your club just looks cool.” he laughed quietly. Mike shrugged, smiling, and pulled him into a hug, ignoring the way Bill squeaked.

“Whatever!” he said happily. “I only need three more members to start the club now thanks to you!” he said, pulling away. Bill shrugged, still blushing.

“I was feeling kinda shitty after seeing what happened to the poster—no doubt,  _ Bowers’s  _ doing—-but now I feel good! Oh yes, I feel good!” Mike beamed, snapping his fingers as he began to walk away.

“See you tomorrow!” Mike called over his shoulder.

“Alright!” Bill replies, watching him go with a smile. “See you then!”

—— Mike & Ben ——

Mike:

Guess fucking what!!

Ben:

You got takis in your lunch and you’re gonna share them with me!!

Mike:

No!!

Ben:

:(

Mike:

Dude!!! We have a new member!!!

Ben:

Oh that’s actually p good!!!

Not as good as you sharing your takis would be though

Mike.

I earned these takis >:( they have my blood, sweat, tears, and meagre paycheck money in them!!

Ben:

Oh suddenly they sound disgusting

Mike:

*She is very gorgeous to me meme*

Ben:

💀💀 still gross

Who is the new member by the way?

Mike:

Bill Denbro!! Idk how to spell it

Ben:

Sounds British

Noice

Wait I think we have a class with him

Mike:

Yeah? I’ve never seen the guy before

Ben:

I guess that tracks, he’s really quiet.

He just sits there and doodles in the margins of his paper during lectures.

Mike:

Weird

He seems like a good guy though 🥺 v smiley

Ben:

That’s ‘cause it’s impossible not to smile around you ☀️

Mike:

😳 this is when being dark skinned comes in handy

My face do be kinda burning

But no one can tell 🙅🏾‍♂️

Ben:

LMAO

—— Ben & Richie ——

Ben:

Heyyyyy

Uhhhhh

Sooo

Richie:

Everybody wants a piece of me today

Ben:

What?

Richie:

Continue, peasant.

Ben:

Um, anyways-

Did Mike tell you about the new member?

Richie:

Yeah, why?

Ben:

Did he mention him by name?

Richie:

No?

Ben:

Bill Denbrough 😐

Richie:

Whomst, luv?

Speak louder dear

Ben:

Sits in our U.S. History class?

Doodles on his loose leaf paper?

Stares at Mike all the time?

Richie:

….

Oh

Ben:

Yeah

Richie:

And he’s…?

Ben:

Probably 😐😬

Richie:

Suddenly this club is looking very interesting!

Ben:

🤦🏼‍♂️   
  



End file.
